Time to Fly

(If you were around on FB yesterday afternoon, this is old news, just saying up front.)

You never quite know when your life is about to change, do you? One minute, you’re thinking, “Ugh, it’s Wednesday, two and a half more days until the weekend,” and the next, you’re looking at the cliff you’re standing on. You’re left wondering if you jump, will you fly or splat?

It’s been my dream since I was a kid to write for a living. For the last, say, year or so, that dream has come closer to a plan, which was to get to a safe point where I could quit my day job (which I loathed to the eyerolling point of searing hatred with every breath I took inside that building’s walls). Safe meant having a good size cushion wherein I could relax for several months and write with little pressure, little distraction, and lots of time to prove myself, and I would make a solid living and be my own boss and huzzah, every other weekend, it would rain unicorns and pygmy goats. Re-reading that sentence, I’m seeing “safe” was sort of Norman Rockwellian. And dangerous every other weekend, what with creatures with pointy ends falling at terminal velocity.

We all know, life often doesn’t ask our permission before doing whatever it pleases anyway. Which is why at just before lunch time yesterday, I was sitting in HR listening to my boss shakily tell me he was laying me off (with sort of a gleam in his eye, because he disliked me almost as much as I disliked him, and man I wish I could have been the one to initiate the separation of our paths. I had some choice words). But the point isn’t that I no longer have to see that man, and if I do, I am justified in pretending I don’t recognize him. The point is my plan has to be strong enough on the legs I’ve already given it, because safe isn’t gonna happen. I don’t have the year of income saved up, nor am I much closer to being able to pay off the debt I wanted to. However, the terms of my being laid off allow me some freedom, and I have conservatively estimated that I have five to six months in which to make this writing gig pay enough to work for me.

So… this is me, inching closer to the cliff and praying my parachute opens so I can fly.

*jumps*

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21 thoughts on “Time to Fly

  1. I was 49 when I was laid off from ‘running’ a computer department for a local newspaper: nearly 50 & female – and I didn’t stand a chance. Five months applying for anything going eventually led me to working for Central Government for another 15 years, where I paper-pushed to my heart’s content (with smoke coming out of ears/nose/mouth most of that time b/c of the inanities that Govt expect one to do!)

    Amazingly, I was able to dump them of my own accord (decided to retire!); but I was then able to open my book-shop 🙂 My dream come true!

    All through everything , I stuck to the logic (?) that “things happen for a reason” and “when one door closes, another one opens” (OK, they’re cliches!) But it helps tremendously. And even though this is fatalistic thinking, I REALLY DO think things happen at the RIGHT time for us!

    So, think positive; you know what you want; you have ideas how to get there; and you have the opportunity to DO IT! Just go out and DO IT!

    *Huge Hugs*

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  2. I really like this line “and man I wish I could have been the one to initiate the separation of our paths. I had some choice words”. I hear ya! I have fantasies about my last day and what I will say! I even wrote out my diatribe least I have a brain malfunction at the time 🙂

    This is an amazing opportunity for you. Run like hell with it!

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  3. I think intent is 90% of what makes results and you have a good solid base to make the life you want happen. So buy yourself a new really comfortable chair and get to it. All of your fans already know you can do it. Bonus more books for us 🙂

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    • I got that comfy chair a year ago prepping for this moment. I built my office at home last fall and I already have everything set up. Was just waiting for the right time. That’s now, apparently. Woot!

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  4. Sometimes when things in life like this happen and they weren’t on our terms it takes a bit to grasp how great the timing or opportunity really is. I know, for me, when I didn’t get to say my peace, especially after stewing on it for months and having the great punchlines ready, I would feel angry and discouraged. Once I realized that it was going to be okay, and I was going to be okay, it turned out to be one of the best things that had ever happened.

    I think you are already there feeling how great it will be, and is, and especially when you no longer have to set the alarm clock. And, just think about snow days and all your ex co-workers trudging along and you can be curled up with a blankie and laptop. 🙂

    We all believe in you and we know that you can do anything you want. Can’t wait to see what comes out of that masterful mind. Woooohoooo!!! 🙂

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  5. Little bird you have been pushed out of the nest. Now is time to soar!!!!

    I know this is frightening but sometimes life seems to give us just what we need when we need it. You are a good writer. Now is the time to take up the “pen” (or PC) and go for it. Your wanting to wait a year was a valid argument – money set aside, bills paid etc. If you are like most folks in a year there would still be other reasons to wait before leaving the job and writing full time. Fate has stepped in. Go for. I for one am looking forward to reading more of your work.

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  6. I didn’t see this last week as I wasn’t around but I’m alternately ecstatic for you and slightly anxious. Mainly however I hope this is what you needed to make your lifelong dream a reality. Congratulations on losing the stress of the EDJ and the evil boss!

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